My RBL journal

I had 3 internal hemorrhoids banded on the 16th of March. These hemorrhoids have sucked all joy out of my life and and made me terribly anxious. Day 1 (day of procedure) terrible right feeling down there idea of passing a BM was terrifying as my butt felt like it closed up for business Day 2- passing BM wasn’t as scary as I thought Fast forward today is day 6 and my birthday: I’m just depressed, sad all the time and yearning to be normal again. Sometimes the feeling of something still being there gives me panic attacks and I end up screaming into a pillow. I try going to the bathroom and I pass weird blobs of mucus that are lightly stained with blood (not much) and the feeling of something inside be subsides giving me some relief for the rest of the day I can’t live my life like this, I never used to be like this.